Saturday, June 27, 2015

Your 90's Childhood is Under Attack

Say goodbye to the sweetest part of the 90's forever

Watch the top old school cereal commercial moments here
Let me take you back...
Put down your smartphone, close the Facebook tab, and go back to a simpler time.  Remember the 90’s?  For 90’s kids the only worries were which starter Pok√©mon to choose or who was your favorite spice girl.  Every Saturday morning the networks would broadcast the highest level of video entertainment imaginable, cartoons, and every Saturday morning, children of the 90’s would tune in to their favorite channel.  The weekend morning ritual was only made complete with one thing, cereal.  Absurdly bright, sugar coated, highly addictive cereal.  Cereal made mornings in the 90’s.  Somehow it was like our Parents had been conned into thinking artificial sugar and coloring was breakfast, not dessert, and we reaped the benefits.  It was truly a special time to be alive.
Not to say cereal addiction hasn't ruined lives.

General Mills has announced they will be completely re-formulating the ingredients of their most popular cereals to make them “healthier.”  Say goodbye to the tastiest part of your 90’s childhood.   

The last place you want corporate America placing their hands and meddling is your childhood, but that is exactly what they are doing.  According to General Mills, iconic cereals such as Lucky Charms, Trix, and Reese's puffs require an overhauled ingredient list to fit consumer preferences for natural healthy foods.  The switch to natural dyes such as paprika, radish and turmeric will, among other things, lead to changes in flavor and less vibrant colors.  Worst of all, remember when a few spoonfuls of cereal would have you bouncing off the walls in euphoric pandemonium? That spike in energy was actually caused by artificial dyes such as yellow 5, that have been found to cause hyperactivity, the same way caffeine or cocaine would.  Your kids will never know that rush.  That is unacceptable.
Whats next, Apple Jacks that actually taste like apples?

Next time you pour yourself a bowl of your favorite cereal, don’t expect a trip down memory lane.  Instead the alien taste and dull coloring will likely leave you cold, alone, and pining for the past.  

When it is all said and done, the cereals we knew from the 90’s will cease to exist. Just like every other part of our lives we will have to grow up.  Some may say it’s for the best, breakfast is after all the most important meal of the day and shouldn’t be squandered on high fructose, corn syrup ridden oats. I say that sounds like my parents.  It was comforting knowing that, like old buddies, my childhood cereals would always be there for me, and now they are not.  R.I.P

A lot has changed since the 90's, some for the better. The new platform, Unreel, allows you to surf "reels" that bring you trending videos relevant to the theme of that channel, be it LOL, AWW, Tunes, or a custom one you make. Most importantly, it tags the moments in the video that matter, and allows you to create your own moment tags to share.

Outraged as I am about the end of a sugar coated era? Spread the love and share this blog.

Think healthy food for America's youth is a good thing? Call me out, and share!

With one click join Unreel to find videos and moments that matter.


  1. Cocoa puffs were introduced in 1958. most of the sugary cereals made by general mills were introduced in the 50's. I don't get what any of this has to do with the 90's

    1. I should say, I don't get what any of this has to do with the 90's specifically.

  2. A more accurate, and alarmist tittle would have been "Everyone's Childhood is Under Attack!" But we didn't want to start a panic ;) Honestly that was our target market, and when I grew up.